Overcoming hurdles
When I started this blog a few weeks ago, it was euphoric. Trying new things is always exciting. It brings a sense of hope and flow. But like all things, the initial excitement fades. Hurdles start to appear. And you're faced with a test.
My first roadblock was nine days ago. Ironically enough, it came after I wrote about consistency in the pursuit of goals. Right when I hit publish, I felt like an imposter because I was on the verge of giving up. My mind got stuck thinking that my writing was bad and that I was embarrassing myself. Somehow, I found the strength to write one more, but afterwards I felt drained. A day later, I archived all my writing and deactivated my Instagram.
The next six days I tried to focus on other areas of my life. It was relaxing in some ways, but I started to feel more and more uneasy. Yesterday, something came over me though. I felt a powerful impulse to write something and release it. Without thinking, the words "Be Weird" popped into my head. I started typing faster than I could think. I read it once, did a quick round of edits, and then let it rip.
I'm sharing this to remind myself that hurdles are to be expected, and that the initial ones are the hardest to jump. When you start something new, ride the waves of flow and excitement, but be ready for that first jump. It's all a test of how bad you really want to do it.